I had a manicure. My hands no longer look like the hands that held him.
I coloured my hair. The grey streaks are no longer visible; no longer a badge of my pregnancy.
I have washed the last of the clothes I was wearing while pregnant. They no longer hold any memory of the shape of my belly.
My nipples have reduced to their normal size. They are no longer preparing to feed my son.
My uterus has reverted below my pubic bone. The swell of my stomach is longer there.
The doppler lies unused on the bedside table. There is no longer a heart beating inside me.
The veins on my belly and breasts have disappeared. They no longer have to carry extra blood.
Every time I look - every time I notice one of these things - it's like losing him a piece of him all over again.
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