For Want of Better Words, A Poem

I have been pregnant twice; the first ended within a few days of the first positive test. The second ended with the death of my son.

I'm not sure how to write about the latter; the below was written about the former.

I wish I could say

I loved you to

the moon and back,

an infinite loop of planets

and stars, but we both

know that wasn’t possible.

You were too new, too

fragile: you were already

slipping away before

the idea of you could

settle in. Your heart didn’t

give a single beat.

But here’s the thing, babe:

I would have loved you.

Through all the stars

in all the galaxies,

to the ends of time and space,

I would have loved you.